Sunday, November 05, 2006

Where am I?

I don't know where I'm going right now. It's been long since I posted in this blog, what with the Duckula one and my more recent art blog, where I post about all my old art.

So here's the deal. I've been pretty much lonely in recent times. Both my sisters have been spending more time away from here with their boyfriends now, so I barely get to see them. Sure, we all get our times when we hate each other, but I do miss them when they're away. Least I still have my mum and dad, and Jessie, but I barely have any friends in real life.

So I'm what, coming up to 20 years old, and still depend on my parents. Barely able to find a job because nothing that's on offer interests me, or is interested in me. Still extremely uncomfortable with travelling too far on my own because my parents get worried. Just...where am I?

But wait? What did I do in the past two weeks? Well, for the first time ever, the other week, I took a train. Just me, on my own. I did it because I wanted to find an art shop in Shenfield, a town not far away, that sells Copic markers. Because the last time I went there, I was with my younger sister, and she was very fed up with me going around in circles. This time, I found it, picked a few marker colours, and headed home. However, I lost my other ticket, so I had to buy a single one to get home. I was so glad to have had some money left, otherwise I would have panicked to no end. So basically when the trip should have costed me £4.30 [minus bus fares], it costed me over £7. Add the bus fare, and that's more than a tenner. Oh well, we learn from our mistakes.

It doesn't end there. When I got back to Romford, I nearly got hit by a bus. I wasn't paying attention to the other side as I was heading over to try and catch a red bus I'd probably miss anyway. I just wanted to get home. There's no telling me what would have happened if I hadn't heard that horn...

What else? Well, the other day, I had an appointment at the local hospital. I missed it last year, so I had to wait a full 365-day cycle for the next, and if I didn't come to this one, I'd probably get a little telling me I hadn't come, and probably be thrown out of ENT. So I took a bus to Harold Wood station, crossed that huge road, and got into the outpatients block. Talking to the receptionist was tough, but mum had already rung them up about it, so I didn't need to bring any cards or anything, and got my seat. I never felt to depending on mum being here then.

Eventually a nurse called me in to wait for a hearing test. I then took it [by sitting in a booth with headphones on and you have to press a button when you hear a beep over rushing sounds], and saw my mum waiting outside. I then had to wait to actually see the doctor, who said that even after three years since I lost hearing in my right ear there's nothing much I can do about it. For some reason none of the doctors I've seen about it advocate the use of hearing aids, but I decided to try it, so the doctor is going to forward me to someone who does hearing aids.

It's not nice having only one functioning ear. I hate having to turn my head around so I can hear someone speak. Sometimes I worry about being deaf completely, because when it happened, it happened so randomly, without any warning.

So, two achievements in a fortnight. My mother said to me..."I'm proud of you doing that [taking the bus to the hospital by myself, she couldn't take me because she was working at that very time], well done".

I'm still lost though...

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